Tag Archives: dream

I had a strange dream…

I had a strange dream two nights ago. It was a dream abut my brother and me having to go on an epic journey. First we had to go back to our homes in Montreal to get what we needed for the ultimate end goal of this journey. I never fond out in the dream what we needed to get in Montreal. The end goal of this journey was for us to end up gowning our dad and our uncle Rick Murphy (I say Rick Murphy as my dad was raised in foster homes and as a result he has another brother named Rick) in Toronto at a dedication for a plaque that was being installed at the gravesite of our dad’s biological father. I remember telling my mom in the dream it would be quite arduous for me to get to this dedication but, she insisted I had to go saying “this is REALLY important to your dad”. Notes I emphasized the word really. I did this because my mom did the same in the dream. Also in the dream I can remember thinking why would my dad be making such a big deal about my brother and me going to a dedication to honour someone who even he had never met. The dream had my brother and me asking for directions in shady metro stations and dingy bus stations from lowlives of society. We even after having been walking for days ended up almost getting submerged by water which was coming at us fast like it did in the Titanic when it was sinking. The water it was coming at us just as we came to vary big but not true to life replicas of french structures like the Eiffel Tower. The way we survived this water was for us to grab life jackets, ones that had just floated of of those who had recently drowned do to its rushing fury. I hesitated for a brief moment in tacking a life jacket do to it having come form someone recently drowned and the fact I thought if I took one I would be dishonouring the memories of the dead. But my brother convinced me to tack one by saying “they are already dead and if you don’t take one so will you”. I woke up just after having grabbed a life jacket.

Stress leads you to do things you would not otherwise do…

Stress leads you to do things you would not otherwise do, even if it is just the ordering of a tea soy milk latte from Starbucks two days in a row. The first day was wen I went into Westbank and the second was wen I went into Kelowna. I am not in any way a fan of tea. I would have preferred to have ordered a hot chocolate but, coffee shop ones have milk in them too which I am allergic. Coffee too which I also don’t like the toast of was way out of the question. Not just because I don’t like the taste of it but, because they also give me a headache wen I drink one. Yes I gout a latte two days in a row because they are sweet and I always wont something sweet wen I am stressed and stress leads you to crave caffeine. So why then did I not just get a dark chocolate bar well, because I also wonted to nears something. Now I know why some people will go to a bar and order a beer and spend all night drinking it slowly lost in their thoughts. Yes this may not have been the best thing for me. To much sugar (in the soy milk) and to much caffeine (from the tee a chi the first day and a green the second day).

Why in the world am I stressed so much? I am after all having a wonderful time working in the BC’s Okanagan valley on a certified organic farm for the summer, to be precise in the town of Peachland. I have gotten to do so many things like help with the baling and staking of the hay, help to pick and put together the weekly salad mix plus pick raspberries and yes weed all kinds of things. I am even getting to eat wonderful organic meals many consisting of produce groin right on the farm. So then again I say why am I stressed so mush? Well I think I am finely letting myself come to terms with the fact my parents split up several years ago or, more accurately my mind is finely forcing me to come to terms with it.

This stress it really got bad a few weeks ago flowing me having the most sad dream I have ever had. This dream its main theme was about my parents split. It woke me up with big sobbing tears that lasted for about ten whole minutes. I would never wish this on anyone. I for one wish it had never come to me. But what can you do about it but deal with it. I know I could just say I am not going to deal with this and pretend I never had this dream and the fact me parents spit is bothering me. But that would just cause me to explode with uncontrollable rage sometime in the future. So I am just going to deal with it.

I am dealing with it by sending an e-mail letter to both my mom and my dad. Yes the same letter to the both of them so they both now they are reading the same thing. I could have sent them individual letters but I need them to hear the same things from me. We will see how they respond to the letter. Lets hope it is in positive ways.